Tick tock tick tock

It felt so great to call our developmental pediatrician last week and CANCEL our next visit. Without a reschedule. If you recall from a few months ago I have been pretty peeved with the treatment we get from her & her front office staff. I love, love, love her physician's assistant, but can no longer stay with her just because of him. So I finally began listening to my gut and following my promise to be a better advocate for Dylan. My first step was to cancel our appointment and get a new dev pediatrician. I had a very long discussion with our primary pediatrician and he was super supportive of this decision and going to begin the process for a new referral. I even supplied him with a list of 7 or 8 doctors and therapists who have been referred to me by friends. Apparently most of my list wasn't really appropriate for Dylan's needs. And the one who was - and was very highly recommended - has a 1 1/2 to 2 year wait. Seriously? How can a doctor have a waiting list that long? Can any parent even consider waiting that long to have their child seen? I'd go absolutely insane. Honestly ... you'd need to get your child on the list before you even conceived just at the chance there might be a need.

So ... now I question if I did the right thing by canceling our appt with our other dev pediatrician. It sure felt good at the time, but did I do it at the detriment of Dylan? It seems like we should still be seeing her while waiting for a new referral, but she's just pushed me so far that I don't know if I can even stomach a visit with her. What to do? Any advice?

This parenting thing is so freaking hard. You never know if you're doing the right thing. And when you think you are - and it feels good - it seems to bite you in the hiney!